Content note: This story includes references to alcohol addiction and recovery.
There was a point when Andrea felt she had run out of options.
She had been struggling with alcohol addiction and trying to manage it on her own. For a while, she stopped drinking, but after just under three months she found herself back where she started.
Feeling scared and unsure where to turn next, she knew she needed support. After referring herself to Spark in Blackburn, she decided to be completely honest about what she was facing.
Looking back, Andrea says she arrived ready to accept help and try something different.
“I felt out of my depth. Terrified and totally alone. I didn’t really know which way to turn. I tried on my own, and didn’t last very long, just under 3 months. I was out of options. All I did know was that I needed support, and I prayed to God.
“I was so scared that I would not get rid of this obsession and learn to face and deal with this that’s got its grip on me. I referred myself to Spark in Blackburn. I was an open book, ready to try anything. Looking back now, I had surrendered myself.”
As she started attending groups, Andrea found a space where she could speak openly about her experiences. Being able to talk honestly about what she was going through helped her understand the situations and feelings that could affect her recovery.
“Through being in a safe place and being able to be totally honest and get vulnerable, I was able to become aware of my triggers and look at my downfalls,” she explained.
Today, Andrea has been sober for more than a year. She is proud of what she has achieved but does not pretend the work is over.
“I am now over a year sober, and so grateful and proud every day. It’s been a tough journey, and will continue to be, but I am aware of my demons and what could potentially take me back there now.
“I know how crucial connection is, especially with fellow recovering addicts. These people get me, these people know and live my struggles.”
Recovery has also changed how Andrea responds to difficult days. Rather than trying to escape her feelings, she says she is learning to face them.
“If there is one thing I’ve learned, it’s to hold on tight and trust and be patient and in time the hope and belief will come,” Andrea said.
“Being in the moment and keeping it simple. Keeping the old ego in check also helped me and continues to help me. I still have good days, and bad. The big difference now is that I have no escape. I can face my feelings and let go of the stuff that is out of my hands.
“I still feel vulnerable and all the human sensitivities, but I am self-aware, sober and able to work on myself today.
“I feel, and pray and hope, that I am on the other side and have come through it a better person today.”